I can already hear you all groaning at my latest complaint. I can hear it. You’re like “Erin, of all the things to complain about, this is such BS. You’re a bitch.”
As far as side effects go, my worst one is… the fact that I don’t get hungry at all, and I have to ask people if I’ve eaten anything.
I know, I know! It’s ridiculous. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I mean, who wouldn’t love never feeling hungry? But I do know that my body cannot sustain itself that way and I have to eat something or else a week from now I’ll have no energy and a massive headache and wonder what’s wrong with myself. HMMMMMM.
I do enjoy my brain now. it’s like, I can do anything! But I also feel myself sort of slipping into depression-mode, and I am so insanely terrified of what might happen if I find myself depressed and motivated. I’ve mentioned this before. It’s still just a big fear of mine right now.
I still don’t have any irritable outbursts. Except when it comes to my upstairs neighbors. Speaking of whom, they are killing me. I just don’t understand how you can let your kid scream his head off at you or at his xbox all while knowing you are having “sound” issues with your surrounding neighbors. SERIOUSLY? And how can you still drop shit constantly and move furniture constantly (?!? WTF is up with that, though) and vacuum after midnight constantly. They piss me the fuck off and I have never, never been so mad at neighbors before. It’s an apartment building! You don’t live in a house, so you HAVE to be considerate of other people.
700 AM: I took that pill. I took it real good.
I am confident that I can’t actually do anything right. I am a massive screw-up and everything I touch turns to crap. The End.
Okay so I haven’t bounced back from my neighborly-induced pill mishap. I sort of feel like the very beginning of my pill regimen and I am snappy and mean and I can’t think straight and I can’t do anything because I can’t even think. It took me two times to actually use my debit card at Target today because I kept hitting CANCEL where it says “would you like cash back?” instead of hitting NO CASH BACK or whatever. And everything is getting on my nerves and ugh. Like I’m back to being a moody teenager. I never really had moody teen years, not like you see on TV or in movies, so maybe this is my body’s way of catching up or making up for lost time. Haha sucker, you got it now! IN YOUR TWENTIES! YAY YOU!
Other than all that, I feel fine.
Oh dear god the people upstairs are not done doing whatever banging around they have to do. I mean, how long does it take to put your furniture into place? It’s not a huge apartment, there’s only so much you can do, the rest is all boxes. Maybe they are throwing the boxes to each other and dropping them. Or dragging them across the floor. Like this noise is unexplainable (PS chrome is telling me unexplainable isn’t a word but I double-checked. It is. SUCK ON THAT CHROME.)
It feels like there is just one bad thing happening after another around here. I’m clearly being dramatic but oh my god this is how it feels. Like first there was this whole thing at the school I sub for, then my dad, then the neighbors, now my pill-body readjustment. As I type I feel very shitty for even letting these thoughts out of my head. I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know how much I can blame on the pills affecting my mood and how much is me whining like a little baby. I know for sure it’s a mix of both.