Tag Archives: Sick

Wiggity, Wiggity Wack.

I’m sick. Sore throat, coughing, hacking, my voice is suddenly very low and raspy. My mom was like look Minnie Mouse is gone! I asked her if I sound sexy now and she said yes. Thanks mom. 😉

But forreal. It sucks. So in April, my mom got sick, then my sister, then my dad, then my sister again, and she got so sick that she developed an ear infection and had to take antibiotics for it and it was kind of hilarious.

HOWEVER. Because she took those anti’s, her immune system was lowered, and she got sick again (mildly this time) with a cold or some such, and SHE GOT ME SICK. I LIVED IN THAT HOME WITH THREE SICK PEOPLE AND DID NOT CATCH A THING, AND I GET SICK NOOOOOW? Give me a break.

But I’ve been so sick the past two days that I missed my scheduled pill times and now I’m off. I don’t like it because I am already off (usually) because I don’t fill the scripts the same day, I do it later when I can get to walmart because it’s the closest place that takes medicaid. No big deal. But now I’m like a whole week off from my appts. It’s minor. It’s minor. I know.  But holy hell does that bother me.

This post is all over the place, I’m sorry. But back to me being sick. It’s a little funny because not taking the Vyvanse for two days in a row made me sort of instantly irritable and I was like overreacting to everything and my family was like literally cleaning up after me. At one point, I was scooping some green beans up on to my plate to eat and one fell on the floor and I was just this dramatic, devastated person. Like it sent me over the edge and I was about to cry because everything was awful and my sister is like “It’s okay, sissy it’s okay, it didn’t even happen, see? No bean on the floor. It didn’t even happen.” She picked it up and threw it away while I was busy cursing everything in my life.

My family is so patient.

Anyway, here’s a picture of me where I accidentally turned into a mermaid.

Mermaid hair nails oops

I mean, look at that hair. Those nails? TOTALLY MERMAID HAIR AND NAILS.

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Filed under Mental Health, Regular Blog Posts, Vyvanse

Viewing Your Parents as You Become an Adult (AKA dealing with new information about parents)

I skipped two whole days of blogging! What a tragedy*** for you guys! You must have been devastated!

Just kidding. Truth is, I’ve just been sick. Caught a cold or something and I’ve been laying in bed all day Mon/Tue shivering my ass off and since that’s boring as ALL HELL I got up and wrapped a blanket around myself to keep warm while still sitting at my computer.

*** Side note: I actually wrote “travesty” here first, but it didn’t look right. So I googled it and it totally does not mean what I thought it meant. The weird thing is, every time I’ve heard it being said, they used it as “something terrible, tragedy, devastating” etc. A few entries down on UrbanDictionary confirms this, but wow. I’ve basically been using this word wrong my entire life. End side note. 🙂

So I found out something completely MAJOR about my dad. When we lived in CA, we used to go camping a lot. I loved camping. It was great. I loved playing outside in the forest/woods and playing in the water of waterfalls and trying to catch critters to bring home.

Well, there was one camping trip that we took with uh… three or four of my dad’s “friends”. Quotes because my dad… I dunno. He’s doesn’t particularly like like these people (or anyone really) but he also doesn’t like having no friends so he still associates with people he love/hates. Anyway, we went camping with them. My sister’s gotta be 3 or 4, so that makes me about 9 or 10 at the time. Apparently, completely unbeknownst to me, his friends brought mushrooms (yes, the magical drug kind) on the trip. My dad partook with his friends while my mom watched after my sister and I. I couldn’t believe it! My dad let it slip in a conversation a few days ago, and my mom clearly still disapproves. As in, she wants to pretend it never even happened because otherwise she just gets mad at my dad.

It’s not like at that age I was to know what someone high as fuck was like, but apparently there was a lot of laughing and goofing off and acting like they were dumb teenagers, and I don’t recall that at all. I have very pleasant memories of this camping trip. I don’t remember my dad being out of it or acting strangely at all.

Additionally, it completely changes how I see my dad. I knew he smoked pot a lot before I was born, but he quit because my mom didn’t want it around the baby (aka WONDERFUL ME) and threatened to leave my dad if he didn’t stop. So, he did. I know he has since partaken a few more times, but on the whole, he’s not really done pot since.

I guess I’ve always kinda been daddy’s little girl and it just shocks me to know that since my sister and I have been alive, he’s actually still done drugs. In a completely recreational way, but… I don’t know. I know he’s human. I know he’s not perfect. I don’t expect him to be. I guess I just assumed that once he earned the title “dad” he stopped all the “bad” stuff and slowly began acting like a dad. Which he totally has, there’s just the addition of occasional drug use. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around it.

I always knew that many of my problems (anxiety, depression, addiction) stemmed from his side of the family, because there have been suicides and alcoholism and drug addiction on that side of the family. My mom’s side has anxiety, too, but I think that’s about it. So I knew that there was always this possibility of slipping down those roads if I wasn’t careful, and hey look at that, that’s exactly what happened to me.

He’s still the same person. Nothing’s changed except what I know about him. But it doesn’t feel the same. I need to find a way to incorporate this new information into the same “MY DAD” brain file I got going on.

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Filed under Mental Health, Regular Blog Posts